For the record I have been struggling with anger and depression for the past few days. Fear is a funny thing.
To the point, I have been reflecting on a few aspects of my life. One has been concerning the quality of the interpersonal relationships as it is. I have many acquaintances and seldom need to feel alone. Yet I feel alone frequently.
Recently, I had a person reach out to u me from the mist of time. At a point in the past I tried at least twice to nurture what we had as a friendship and grow it into something more than the almost superficial towards a deeper , more meaningful level. Each time that person drifted away; as is/was/will be their right.
Contrast with, I recently had reached out to a friend that was/had slipped away a bit. I asked for a face-to-face during a time that I knew to be less hectic their annual cycle. As it was, chaos ensued and they remained unable to find time.
Very recently the friend from the first paragraph decide that I was not giving them the level of attention that they had expected or wanted and expressed that in a private message. (Now remember, I am struggling with anger). I decided to to respond ; mostly because I had nothing nice to say.
When I reflected on this today, I realize that I cannot expect anybody that has not been an ongoing immediate priority in my life to make time for me simply because I feel our friendship slipping from my grasp. While I may long for more time, (and as much as I hate to subscribe to the concept of linear time) the time that we have is a finite quantity. Furthermore that time is slipping away from the moment of our first breath until our last. It is all we have and we don't get "do-overs".
Just For Today: I need to try to remember this as I walk through my 86,400 seconds. Be Well, Try To Be Kind and know that You Are LOVED!